So glad she's my Mum.

So, my sister and I were losers yesterday. We woke up and lounged around. Mom was wandering about gathering her things and getting ready to go back to Vermont after being here for my sister's college graduation. As the day wore on we noticed she was rather glum. We asked her why and my sister answered for her because as soon as we asked, we knew- because we didn't do anything for mother's day. Well, needless to say I felt awful. I had thought all week about what I was going to do and then with the excitement of the graduation on Saturday and spending time with everyone, I forgot and totally dropped the ball.

Even though I feel bad, and I know that "I'm sorry" and a "Happy Mother's Day" won't cut it because it's too late, I hope that she will realize that I am thankful for her every day- not just on the day designated as "mother's day." She is not only a mother, she is a friend. I'm so glad to have her as a wedding consultant and as a life consultant. She has acted as a role model and a representation of strength throughout my life. I hope that when I become a mother that I can be like her- caring but not (too) overbearing; wise but able to stand back and let me make my own decisions; right there through the thick and thin, always supportive.

So, even though I didn't say it yesterday, I hope she knows that...

I'M SO GLAD SHE'S MY MUM!

3 MONTHS.

Three months from today is the big day. The day I unite through vows and celebration with a best friend, a caretaker, someone who has seen the best and worst of me, who has walked along side of me- and sometimes dragged me along or pushed me forward when I couldn't go on by myself, the man of my now and my forever. It's going to be beautiful.

But before there is beautiful, there is preparation... which is not necessarily beautiful, but is definitely time consuming. There is so much already decided, but also so much to do in preparation for the ceremony and the celebration that follows. We've chosen a photographer, a caterer, the rentals have all been contracted, the marriage counseling is done, invitations are made and ready to be enveloped, sealed, and delivered- I'm his! Sorry if you don't get the adjusted musical reference. :)

I'm so excited to see everything together, but at the same time- to be quite frank- I'm sick of planning and waiting. Patience is not one of my virtues. I want the day to be here already! I love to organize. I love to be creative. But I also love results and seeing my hard work come together. Until the big day, it's mostly just details waiting to meet and make marriage magic. But on the big day, all the hard work and decisions come together and people get to celebrate love- which I think is something that should be done everyday!

So even though I typically wish time would slow down, right now I wish it would just bring with it productivity and awesome wedding planning, while also getting me to that alter so I can say vows that make people cry and become Mrs. Knudsen!

Today I remember.

Today is the one year anniversary of the passing of a most wonderful person- my aunt Dolly. I am sad that it has been so long since she's been gone, but even sadder that I forget to think about her daily like I should. Not just to remember her, but to remember all the things she stood for and represented that I wish I stood for and represented more in my life.

The weekend of her funeral was the saddest, most miserable weekend of my life. Her passing caused such great heartache for so many people, including me. To see people cry that I've rarely seen cry, especially such passionate crying, is a very hard thing to handle. I held my grandmother on one side and my sister on the other during the service. I watched my grandfather hug my father tightly, both sobbing. The men in my family don't sob.

Dolly was a light in the lives of the people she knew. She showed kindness to everyone- unless of course you were picking on someone, and then she scolded you. It's not right to pick on others. She delighted in the small things- like hugs. I could go on about the things she did that inspire me.

I am glad that I was able to grow up with her in my life. It's made me a better person, I am sure of it. So, today I remember her and all she was to me and so many others.

Come on self, get back into this!

Life is busy. Busy busy busy. There are so many things going on, but it just feels good to get on here and write. Therefore, I'm going to try harder to do so. Especially because I've gotten the impression people like hearing from me and about what's going on in my life!

The biggest thing lately is that I'm a brand new homeowner. Wow. When people said it would be stressful, they forgot to say it would be exhuasting! I am so tired this week it's making me nauseous! But I get up every morning and force myself to go to work rather than back to bed... although this morning I got up, showered, and then crawled back into bed to doze for about 15 minutes. It didn't help much. Haha. The fatigue is worth seeing our condo become ours though. The painting takes forever it seems, but when a room is done, it's awesome! And I really enjoy emptying the boxes and putting things away. I want to live there, not just be there- which is what we've done so far by just painting and sleeping and not unpacking. Last night, though, I got some boxes emptied and the contents put away in the kitchen. It's amazing how hard it is to figure out where to put things... there are way more kitchen cupboards than I think I'll be able to fill, but that is a beautiful thing! I can't wait to get new furniture and really finish things up. It's going to be great to welcome our families and friends to our first owned home and to make many, many memories there... including bringing home our first little one, maybe. WHOA! Okay, maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself! Haha.

Before the little ones, there shall be marriage... and hopefully a few pay raises! The wedding plans are coming along nicely- although they are on a time-out right now. Not because Casey and I are on a timeout, but because we are focusing on home-making at the moment. I'm not afraid that planning is taking a time-out, though, because my wedding consultant (MUM!) and I have done very well to get the big things settled and are at a point where it's mostly in the details... and those are coming together as well. I just can't wait to see it come completely together on the big day!

So, the goal is to get myselve back on here to share- to share my nesting adventures, my DIY wedding projects, and whatever other creative endeavors I may be involved in... not to mention the plain old wonders of life!