Oh So Gratefully

I struggled this weekend with balancing between a heavy heart and seasonal joy. The tragedy of last week is still incomprehensible to me. I didn’t read much about it, because the media is miserable, but also because even the most generic of articles was too much for my tear ducts. That kind of loss is just unfathomable, and the ache of the nation is evidence of that.

The other thing I just can’t understand is how people can get up on high horses at a time like this and make charges for what should be done politically about this situation. I think that makes my heart hurt more than anything. That people can push aside the names and faces of the victims and replace them with lobbying.

So I didn’t read news articles or scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook. Instead I cherished the wonderful, festive moments of the weekend. Many times it was with the victims and their loved ones on my mind and in my prayers, but always with sincere hope that living joyfully, and oh so gratefully, in a time like this will honor the life left behind by those who have been lost.

I also read some really touching and encouraging words from other bloggers who are much more articulate than I am. I’ve been pounding this keyboard – especially the backspace - for almost an hour and still I can’t say all that I want and mean. So instead I’ll share some of the words that moved me, and encouraged me, in this time of faltering and sadness, especially this excerpt from Daring Greatly by Brene Brown that Kelle @ Enjoying the Small Things quoted:

“Don’t squander joy. We can’t prepare for tragedy and loss. When we turn every opportunity to feel joy into a test drive for despair, we actually diminish our resilience. Yes, softening into joy is uncomfortable. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s vulnerable. But every time we allow ourselves to lean into joy and give in to those moments, we build resilience and we cultivate hope. The joy becomes part of who we are, and when bad things happen—and they do happen—we are stronger.”

Nici @ Dig this Chick: I have big feelings and little words regarding today’s soul-splitting event in Connecticut. I alternate between sending all my mama love to that community and imagining dark details of how it all went down. {} I cry. We cry. Today, may all the tears of all of humanity create a bright, warm, alive ocean of hope. In that ocean swing strong waves that hug and move, a symbiotic and powerful tide of peace, betterment and love.

Kelle @ Enjoying the Small Things: The only thing I know to do is to fall more into love—to draw close to things that are good, the people and places and experiences that draw the best from me. To honor the children and teachers that are lost, I pay attention to the children and teachers, friends and strangers who have not been lost.

Too much of this post by Casey @ The Wiegands to excerpt.

And finally, from an email I received from a family member:

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children let me show you around."
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can,
and I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."