Shame.

It’s really hard to renew yourself when people already have an image of you based on actions you’ve already taken and words you’ve already spoken. You try really hard to change, to become better, but then something happens and you remember something you did or said before that wasn’t so great. Then you become ashamed.

I suffer greatly from shame, typically in the form of anxiety. I never would have known to call it shame until I stumbled upon a blog the other day that had this image in their sidebar (also now linked on my left sidebar):

Of course, as someone who’s trying to choose authenticity, I clicked the image and it brought me to the site of Brene Brown, who is an author, scholar, and teacher. Her blog talks about living authentically and how in order to do that we need to become “shame resilient.”

I browsed Brene’s blog and found that she had a “read along” going on for her book titled I Thought It Was Just Me. I was intrigued by what the read along had to say about shame, especially because it related so strongly to my life and how I think and feel about myself, and so I bought the book.

Last night I started the book and although I’ve only read a few pages of the Introduction, I’m already eager to read more and learn about this concept of “shame” that I hadn’t really thought about before.

As I write this post and discuss this book, I also feel inclined to say that books such as this are not the only place I've been getting inspiration to change and live authentically. I am also working a lot with an even more important book: The Bible. I’m learning my purpose and I'm learning to respect the person God has made me, and more importantly, I’m learning that shame is unnecessary because God has already forgiven me for my mistakes, for the words I shouldn’t have spoken and the actions I shouldn’t have taken. Because of that forgiveness, I should live joyfully as the person He has made me, giving thanks for His blessings.

With that in mind, I am thankful that God blesses others to create resources such as those provided by Brene Brown. It helps us to see things from a new perspective and lets us know that we are not alone- there are others on this Earth that suffer from the same things we do, and all the time God is watching and helping us to recognize our "oopsies" and to be better because of them.

Blessings and Happy Tuesday!